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August 24, 2004
Disarming Difficult People
Interview
with Jeanette Kasper ,author of the book Anger
Is Not An Emotion
Mike
Carruthers:
Have you ever wondered why difficult people are so difficult?
Jeanette
Kasper :
One hundred percent of the time when you're facing any
difficult person whatsoever guaranteed that person is scared.
The difficult behavior they're showing you that's their way
of getting safe with you.
Jeanette
Kasper author of the book Anger
Is Not An Emotion…
When you're
dealing with a difficult person there's only two things. You
are either one of my pack or you're the enemy. You're either
a saber tooth tiger or you're one of my pack. And guaranteed
if this person in front of you is being difficult or outright
angry they see you as the saber tooth tiger. So, instead of
trying to show them that they're wrong and I'm right, instead
of trying to put them into their place, instead of trying toput
myself on their side. And the easiest quickest way to show somebody
that you're on their side is to look them in the eye, and it
doesn't matter what they're saying, to tell them that they're
right, because they are.
Of course
that's not easy to do but if you can step out of your ego for
a moment and say to a difficult person you're right….
And genuinely
mean it and say you're right I see why you would have done that
then on the spot every single difficult person is going to,
the anger is just going to diffuse. You have shown them very
clearly, very easily that you're on their side; you're not the
enemy.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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