Transcripts

Mona Gustafson Affinito PhD:
The payoff in forgiving is good mental health and even more good physical health. There's more and more evidence that anger and resentment are damaging to the immune system.

Mona Gustafson Affinito, author of the book, When To Forgive, says forgiveness is often misunderstood. To forgive is to not let someone off the hook.

Forgiveness begins with recognizing that the offender has really done something wrong. To forgive is to accuse, is one of my mottos.

But trying to get back at someone who has hurt you, says Mona, seldom works.

You know we all live with this idea that life is fair. And when we suffer an offense we discover that it isn't fair. And our first impulse is to try to make it fair again, if only we can hurt that person back. But you know what? If you express vengeance to that person who hurt you, they don't say, "Gee, thanks I needed that." They're going to now feel that you offended them. We see it all the time in international politics.

Mona believes that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves.

There was a murder here in Minnesota. And the mother of the murdered woman said, " I am not going to let the evil of what that man did, into my home". And that's basically the idea of forgiveness. You cleanse yourself of the evil.

For transcripts and our newsletter, visit our website: somethingyoushouldknow.net. I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.