Transcripts

Attorney, Laurie Puhn, author of the book, Instant Persuasion…

Attacking, right? For instance if you have a nasty waitress who's quick with you and making you uncomfortable during your dinner. You can say, "Ma'am, what's wrong with you, do you have a problem?" Well, that's not going to get what you want. She might turn around and just go spit in your food.

The other common way to respond to rudeness is to be a doormat.

Say nothing, letting the frustration build, the blood pressure build. The problem here again is you don't get what you want and you're annoyed.

Laurie has a better way to respond to rude people.

First think about what I want. You have to ask yourself that question. You want the waitress to be nicer during the meal. Step two; you want to personalize the situation. So, think about, well, maybe this waitress is having a rough day. Maybe her boss just yelled at her.

And step three; you want to allow the rude person to save face.

Give them a way out. Don't create blame. So, here's what it would look like with the waitress. "Excuse me Ma'sm, you know, you seem really upset? Are you having a rough day?" And in that moment she turns to you and she says, "Oh, I didn't realize you noticed, or oh, yeah it's been a rough day or no, no it's no problem I'm fine." But you changed the dynamic in a non-offensive way so that then she's more aware of what you want and she'll be nicer to you during the meal.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.