Mike
Carruthers:
Difficult people - you have to deal with them so you might as
well get good at it.
Dr. Mark Goulston:
The way difficult people get to you is, often they will charm
you and then as you interact with them they kind of frustrate
you, then they may anger you.
Psychiatrist
Dr. Mark Goulston, author of the book Get
Out of Your Own Way at Work, says difficult people will
eventually push you to the point of rage.
And if you're
really uncomfortable with the feeling of rage, what will happen
is you will do anything to get out of that interaction with
them, including appeasing them because you're afraid of what
you might say or do.
But rather than
give in, retreat, or explode…
Make eye contact
with them because if you look away, that communicates fear and
if you communicate fear they become even more intense - so keep
your eyes on them.
Then Mark says,
wait until they're done talking, take a long pause, and say…
My mind wandered
the last three or four minutes - can you repeat what you said?
And see if you say this to a difficult person, what they're
going to realize is their knockout punch didn't get to you.
Another response
that works well with difficult people is to say…
"Tell me
how what you want is fair to everyone it affects." And
they're going to go, "Huh?" And all the while, while
you're staying centered and composed they don't know what to
do because difficult people don't have a case to make - that's
why they're being difficult.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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