Mike
Carruthers:
To truly have influence over people you really need to understand
the concept of "buy-in".
Dr. Mark Goulston:
"Buy-in" is the first step in motivating or persuading
someone to do something. "Buy-in" is the difference
between - "Tell me more" and "No thanks I've
heard enough already."
Psychiatrist
Dr. Mark Goulston, author of the book Get
Out of Your Own Way at Work…
And the key to
"buy in" is you want to get where people are coming
from. And the reason being is when you get where people are
coming from, most people will lean into that. Something that
I've developed a skill in as I've trained FBI and police hostage
negotiators who have to get "buy-in" very quickly.
I've trained them to connect with that person and when that
person feels understood, they feel less desperate and they will
lean away from the trigger.
Mark says the
skill comes when you listen between the words and hear an emotion.
And if you were
to say to someone, "You know I hear what you're saying
(and you can repeat what they're saying) but what I'm hearing
just as loud is your frustration about this situation. Can you
tell me what you're frustrated about?" If you can get people
past venting, whining, and complaining and you listen to the
feeling underneath it (and it's always there) - they will start
to exhale - meaning they feel cared about. And when people feel
cared about, they generally feel grateful and gratitude crosses
over very quickly into generosity.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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