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Mike
Carruthers:
There is something that parents often don't understand about
their own childrens' behavior.
Anthony Wolf PhD:
Behavior at home is not necessarily the same at all as behavior
out there in the world. And I talk about the "baby self"
which parents get at home, and the "mature self" which
the rest of the world usually gets.
Anthony Wolf,
author of the book The
Secret Of Parenting...
And the fact
is that you can have these kids who ARE bratty at home or are
bratty at home during their childhoods, who on the outside are
fine and go on and grow up to be wonderful, good people. Which
basically means that no, you don't always have to stamp out
every example of bratty childish behavior that you get at home.
Parents feel the obligation somehow that they have to, but they
don't.
So bratty behavior
by our kids is not necessarily bad.
Mainly what it
is, is unpleasant. And, consequently the strategy in dealing
with the kid and dealing with the kid's "baby self"
is not to try and change it, because you can't, but try and
distance yourself from it as fast and as soon as you can. And
that really, really works. If kids learn that they…once their
parent makes up their mind, that that's it, there's nothing
further they're going to be able to get, it really makes parenting
a so much easier process.
For transcripts,
visit our website somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers, and that's Something You Should Know.
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