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October
25, 2002:
Shyness
Interview
with Jonathan Berent, A.C.S.W., author of Beyond
Shyness
Mike
Carruthers:
Shyness. Real shyness is a problem that plagues a lot of people.
Jonathan
Berent, A.C.S.W.:
People who have it are toxically controlled by emotions:
the fear of embarrassment, fear of humiliation, shame, fear
of rejection.
Jonathan
Berent, author of the book Beyond
Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxiety.
A woman
comes into my office here in Great Neck and happens to be an
ovarian cancer survivor. And she says, with very genuine words,
"Jonathan, I'd rather be back in chemotherapy than speak
in front of a group." That is a good example of the level
of embarrassment and panic that people with social anxiety experience.
90% of the
population feels shy at some point in their life.
It's
normal to feel awkward and somewhat inhibited in new social
situations. The healthy person learns from that experience.
It's not normal and it's not healthy to let the anxiety control
you to the point that you have to avoid things.
The way
you get over that social anxiety, says Jonathan, is to do the
thing that makes you anxious.
And in
order to be able to do that, a person has to put a new interpretation
on the feelings of anxiety. It does not mean that you're not
okay as a person. People with social anxiety interpret it on
that deep level. When you can put a new interpretation on that
anxiety, you've got a good chance at recovery.
You can
link to Jonathan's website
from ours, somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know".
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