Transcripts

Mike Carruthers:
Every relationship could use some improvement and if there is one thing almost every man could improve, it’s to be a better listener.

David Clarke, PhD:
That’s what the woman wants. It’s almost at the top of her list; most men are just lousy listeners.

Psychologist Dr. David Clark, author of the book The Total Marriage Makeover , says there’s a reason men are such lousy listeners.

Men are logical creatures - we’re not usually emotionally built and we like to talk about superficial things. Most men don’t like to be vulnerable and get personal – we’re active, we like to do more things. So, it’s really something that men are not made to do and when a woman begins talking, they tend to have a lot of words and we get overwhelmed and we think, get to the point. This isn’t logical, why would you be upset about this? I see that over and over again happen in my own marriage. So, you’ve got to realize that and start to make some corrections - men that do, have great marriages.

Dr. Clarke practices what he preaches and says he makes sure to listen to his wife everyday.

And she will have things to say to me and I will be focused on her and we’re going to have a half an hour conversation and she’ll feel loved afterwards. And the pay-off to me is going to be in any number of ways because she feels close, she appreciates me, she loves me, she knows I love her. A lot of nice things happen out of that as opposed if I go home and cut her off, "I’m having a hard day honey, I’m kind of stressed and I don’t want to hear it" - well, it would be very different if I did that.

Tomorrow, the one-thing women can do to improve a relationship – I’m Mike Carruthers and that’s Something You Should Know.