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Mike
Carruthers:
Every
child with elderly parents worries about the day when something
happens. When that parent has a health crisis but few of us
are prepared for it.
Dan
Taylor:
Well, I think there's a belief
in the American public that when your parents get really ill
and they can't take care of themselves there is a magic telephone
number you call and the fact of the matter is is there isn't
a telephone number.
Dan Taylor, author
of the book The
Parent Care Conversation says consequently there has to
be preparation for what is inevitable.
This is why you
have to have certain key legal documents in place, a durable
power of attorney, health care directives so that in the event
something would happen to you as a senior, the person who's
supposed to take care of you has the legal and actual authority
to do that.
And if you are
the child of an elderly parent and you can't get them to talk
about all of this…
What I tell children
to tell their parents is simply this: I appreciate that you
don't want to discuss this, but what I want to tell you is that
unless you tell me what it is that you want to have happen,
I'm not going to take the accountability/responsibility for
making it happen.
Although hard
to start, these conversations are important and can have tremendous
benefit.
What I know from
talking to my father is that what they want to do is that they
want to be remembered and they want to know that their life
mattered. So focus on the progress and the achievements and
not why they didn't get you a wagon when you were seven.
You can link
to Dan's website
from ours, somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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