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October 14, 2004
Effective Confrontation
II
Interview
with Kerry Patterson author of the book, Crucial
Confrontation
Mike
Carruthers:
Confrontation, the whole idea of it scares a lot of us, but
really it's all in how you do it. Kerry
Patterson:
You
start with the facts. People have been taught for years to sort of step up and
share your feelings, that's just dead wrong. Feelings should be the last thing
you're sharing because they're controversial and emotional. Kerry
Patterson author of the book, Crucial
Confrontation says the key to effective confrontations is to approach it as
a way to solve a problem with everyone's best interests in mind. If
you play back in your own mind some hard confrontations or discussions that other
people have had with you where you didn't become defensive and they told you things
that perhaps were a little sensitive it was because that you knew that they had
your best interest in mind. We found out that those who are best at confrontations
always started with mutual purposes. They sort of say I'm going to talk about
something that I think needs to be resolved before we all can work together in
a more effective way. And
you do that, says Kerry, by stating the facts, then stating what you've concluded
from those facts and then letting the conversation go forward. Now
I'm not suggesting that every conversation will end up happily ever after or that
you can confront anything with anybody. I am suggesting that when you watch the
people that are singled out by their peers as the most effective they stepped
up without batting an eyelash, established a healthy mutual purpose at the beginning,
respectful statements of facts, tentatively shared their solutions and the conversation
unfolded in a healthy way. At
somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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