Transcripts

Sally Horchow:
I don't think that you need to be a socially outgoing person to have deep relationships. You only need to have the willingness and then make a small effort.

Sally Horchow, co-author of the book The Art of Friendship, says technology is partly to blame. You really can't make a close friend in a computer chat room or by email.

And sadly people are lazy. They don't realize that they have to get out from behind their computer, they have to see people to maintain their friendships. They have to have conversations that are more than just about the political candidates or pop culture.

You do have to take some risks to make friends but not very big risks.

It's important to go out on a limb and give compliments to people. Tell them why you like them or what you admire about them and why you want to be closer friends with them. It's important that you update your experiences with them. If you're friends with someone through the office it's important that you take your friendship out of the office. If you always see someone in your yoga class or at the gym, then do something different with them. Go to a movie or go have coffee somewhere - change to "up" the experience. Do what you can to update your experiences and that will deepen them.

And Sally says it's important to accept the fact that friendships come and go.

It's important that you have healthy friendships and if one isn't healthy or isn't being reciprocated in the correct way, it's important to let that friendship go.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.