Transcripts

Mike Carruthers:
The reality today in marriage is that couples are so busy they don't spend much time on their relationship

Mira Kirshenbaum:
People spend more time on their dog, they walk their dog, they'd never think of not walking their dog or feeding their goldfish and yet they don't give that time to their love.

Psychologist, Mira Kirshenbaum, author of the book, The Weekend Marriage…

And you know I used to think that when couples found themselves without much time the good stuff and the bad stuff would trade pretty much in the same proportions. But what we've found in research instead was that it's only the good stuff that shrinks. What I saw with most couples is that most of their interactions are about problems. They complain about their lives, they complain about each other. There's little of fun intimacy and affection that make a relationship feel like love. And this leads to the constant fighting, the "we grew apart" and the affairs that play such a big role in people getting divorced.

So, how do you fix this? Well, Mira says it starts with the little things.

This was based on solid research and we found that people who consistently did, small things, real connection for example. How long does it take to have a nice tender kiss? Thirty seconds. But that makes a huge difference; it reminds you that this is a person who really matters to you.

Tomorrow, more ways to improve any relationship- I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.