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November
10, 2006:
Why Women Don't Ask For Help
Interview
with Linda Babcock, author of Women
Don't Ask
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Mike
Carruthers:
An interesting difference between men and women is that men
tend to ask for what they want, and women don't.
Linda Babcock:
I interviewed a woman who was getting her first job
after her M.B.A., and she said, "You know I didn't negotiate
my salary because I wanted to start out on the right foot with
my employer."
Linda Babcock,
co-author of the book Women
Don't Ask…
She later learned
in that organization that her employer thought they'd made a
mistake in hiring her because she didn't negotiate. So she really
thought that she was improving the relationship by not negotiating,
when in fact it harmed her.
What got Linda
interested in this in the first place was her work as a professor
at Carnegie-Mellon University.
Men seemed to
get many more privileges and opportunities and resources, and
my experience was that men just came to my office and asked
for them, and the women weren't asking. I think they were thinking
that if I had something available I'd send an e-mail around
inviting everybody to do something.
Why are women
reluctant to ask?
I think
it goes back to how boys and girls are raised. Girls are raised
to really focus on the needs of others, and boys are raised
that it's okay to focus on your own interests.
If women just
understand that they're doing this, says Linda, it can make
a big difference.
It's kind of
like turning on a light bulb, that once women get this idea
they think, well you know "why haven't I asked?" Or
"I could ask my husband to do some more." "I
could ask my boss, hey, can you assign me to a different project
that would use my skills better?" So I think once women
learn about this, that it's very liberating.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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