Transcripts

Mike Carruthers:
Saying "No"... it's tough to do when someone asks for your help - why is that?

Susan Newman:
We're afraid that people won't like us, that they'll think that we're uncaring or self-centered, even lazy - and for some people they don't like confrontation.

Susan Newman, author of the book The Book of No…

The reality is, is when someone asks you to do something, once you say "no" they're not really thinking about you as much as you're thinking and worrying about what they think. They move on to find someone else to fix the bookcase, to drive the carpool - people are far more understanding than we think they are.

When you're ready to try to start saying "no" Susan says, begin with something where you're certain you can stick to your decision.

Don't be wishy-washy about it. Also withhold explanations, explanations get you in a lot of trouble: "Oh, I can't do this because of this or that." That gives the person asking wiggle-room to come back and say, "Well, you can do that later." Don't fret over the consequences of your "no" - you won't be missed as much as you think.

There really is a big payoff to getting good at saying "no".

It's very freeing - you will be a happier, more content person and when you do do something, you're going to do it with zest and you're going to feel good about it and people will see a change in you.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.