Dr. Thomas Habib:
The reason is that the parents haven’t changed their relationship from a parenting-based relationship to a friendship-based relationship.

Dr. Thomas Habib, author of the book, If These Walls Could Talk, says many parents with adult children push their children away because they keep treating them like kids; offering advice and judgment when it isn’t welcome.

When we parent - when we offer unsolicited suggestions - our children are taking it as lack of confidence in their judgment. What they need from us is the affirmation we give to friends, where we quietly stay supportive and ultimately respect that you have it under control and you can deal with it.

It may be hard to do, but Dr. Habib says it’s never helpful to offer your adult children unsolicited advice and judgment. NEVER!

In fact, I tell some of my parents, “Make them ask 2 or 3 times before you give your opinion.”

And Dr. Habib says, if you want your adult children to feel comfortable coming over, make them feel comfortable when they leave.

Don’t say to them, when they have clearly indicated that they want to leave, “Can’t you stay for dinner?” I mean, that just comes across as guilt. When we go, “Well thanks for coming, love you, good bye.” Then, it’s easy to drop by, it’s easy to make the phone call. They don’t feel trapped.