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Mike Carruthers:
There's a common, often overlooked, problem in marriages and long-term
relationships, and that is…
Jeffry Larson:
…the lack of appreciation. People just don't speak up and say
the little compliments sincerely that they need to, and then
you just don't feel appreciated.
Psychologist
Dr. Jeffry Larson, author of The
Great Marriage Tune-Up Book.
Men really like
empathy from their wives, in terms of their busy work schedules.
Men really like to be appreciated for their careers. Sometimes,
they just assume, "My husband? Of course he knows we appreciate
him. The boat, the cars, the vacations. Of course he knows we
appreciate him." The husbands really need to hear that.
Of course, men
are often guilty of not appreciating their wives for all the
things they do, and it quietly takes its toll on the relationship.
Feeling unappreciated
kind of makes you withdraw from your partner. "I don't
get much credit for what I do, why should I give him credit
for what he does?" They kind of hole up and wall up and
they don't say much to their partner, and it leads to a lot
of dissatisfaction for both people.
Solving this
problem is easy, says Dr. Larson. All it takes is one partner
to start appreciating the other…
…which will then
reciprocate throughout the marriage and will motivate the other
person to both feel better about you and want to make some of
the changes themselves. So it really works best in a marriage
to start the change yourself. What's nice about that is you
can start tomorrow.
For transcripts
and our newsletter, visit our website, somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should
Know."
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