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December
22, 2006:
Letting Go Of Regret
Interview
with Hamilton Beazley, author of No
Regrets
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Mike
Carruthers:
Are
you holding onto old regrets?
Hamilton Beazley:
Regrets really are unprocessed anger and pain. If you
hold a regret and you're unable to forgive, there are certain
health benefits of forgiving that you lose.
Hamilton Beazley,
author of the book No
Regrets…
So if you're
very angry at an ex-spouse, you're very angry that you were
injured in a car wreck - that means that you are going to, speaking
generally based on the scientific research, be likely to have
more stomachaches, higher blood pressure, less sleep, you're
more likely to be angry, depressed. So there're a lot of actual
health benefits of letting go of our regrets.
But, of course,
letting go is not easy. Hamilton has a whole 10-step process
in his book, but here is some advice…
I think you start
with the baseline of remembering that regrets are inevitable,
but holding onto them isn't. You also begin by understanding
that letting go of a serious regret is a process, rather than
a single event; then you will find that you can actually say
to yourself, I did the best I could do, given the person I was
and the events of the time. And that is very, very freeing for
many people who have felt very bad about how they responded
to events in the past.
You can link
to Hamilton's website from ours somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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