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June
15, 2004:
Fixing Family Estrangements,
Mark Sichel author of
Healing From Family Rifts
Mike
Carruthers:
In almost every family there's a rift where someone isn't speaking
to someone else because of something that happened.
Mark
Sichel:
Unless it really is in fact a heinous felonious crime
that this person has committed, most things that families argue
about are forgivable.
Mark Sichel
author of the book: Healing
From Family Rifts says there really isn't much good at holding
onto these grudges.
Because
it can only make you miserable, people feel better when they
let go of their resentments and grudges. They're free to have
new experiences and not be trapped in the pain of their old
experiences.
So, how
do you begin to heal one of these family estrangements?
Well
you start the process by looking inside yourself. You have to
honestly acknowledge what your part is in the family problem.
And you have to answer a question for yourself which is, have
I done all I can to make this relationship work?
And Mark
says that whatever it was that happened that caused this problem
in the first place is probably not worth going back and trying
to fix.
In fact
Mike, you can't really fix the problem all you can really do
is say to the other family member, 'Look, let's let go of this
and let bygones be bygones and make our future together differently.
Let's make a decision to have shared experiences that are going
to give us pleasure and joy and not to discuss these tinderbox
issues.'
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers, and that's Something You Should Know.
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